Pa Stark's Joke of the Day

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Captain Canuck

#41

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 29

06/20/09 18:14:35

Resident Comic

Poor ol' Pa Stark. He spent a fortune on deodorant before he figured out that people were avoiding him because they just didn't like him.

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KanSmiley

#42

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 67

06/23/09 19:58:52

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up north in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."

Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."

"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2009 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could haff put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"

Ole says........"How da Hell vas I spose to pick dem up?

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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Captain Canuck

#43

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 33

06/25/09 11:04:03

Resident Comic

KanSmiley and his wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions. Kan turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

Kan's wife replied, "You have the biggest pecker of all your friends."

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#44

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 60

06/29/09 00:05:01

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

Q: What do women hate most about porta-potties?

A: Men keep peeing in the purse holder.

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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Captain Canuck

#45

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 38

06/29/09 18:40:20

Resident Comic

What? It's a purse holder?

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KanSmiley

#46

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 97

07/04/09 00:11:45

BREAKING NEWS: Police in Oak Ridge, Tenn., are investigating a
coordinated robbery of a market. Pa Stark went in and got the
clerk's attention by putting $2 on the counter. Then his son,
Trigger Stark, went in with a gun and demanded money. The clerk
complied -- by handing over the $2 Pa Stark had put on the counter.
Apparently satisfied, the Stark's then ran. Investigators know
where the Starks live because it's the police's job to know everyone
in town who's that stupid.

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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KanSmiley

#47

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 98

07/04/09 08:13:07

Chuck White is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Captain Canuck stops him and asks, "Hey Chuck! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Chuck.

"Wow," exclaims Captain Canuck, "Great trade."

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#48

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 69

07/04/09 15:22:54

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

Captain Canuck [-]

Posted: 06/29/09 18:40:20

What? It's a purse holder?

Cap, stop using bushes to relieve yourself, and use a porta pottie and you will see.

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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Captain Canuck

#49

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 43

07/04/09 15:49:54

Resident Comic

One day Ma and Pa Stark were sitting around the breakfast table when Pa suddenly said, "Ma, if I were to die suddenly someday, someway like maybe being shot full of holes by Dick Tracy, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" Ma asked.

Pa replied, "I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other a**hole using my stuff."

Ma thought for about two seconds and retorted, "What makes you think I'd be dumb enough to marry another a**hole?"

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KanSmiley

#50

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 99

07/04/09 17:33:37

Captain Canuck: Now that is maybe the funniest one you have posted.

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#51

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 75

07/06/09 16:49:30

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

39 0 13, Captain Canuck, and Kan Smiley are discussing anatomy, and why they think men have a head at the end of their wang.
39 0 13 says, "That's easy, it's so during sex, it will give men more pleasure."
Cap Canuck replies, "You are wrong, it is so during sex, it will give the woman more pleasure."
Kan Smiley says, "You are both wrong, it is so during sex, you hand won't slip off."

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#52

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 78

07/07/09 18:28:46

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

Brick Bradford is working in the Brickford Distillery and Sewage Treatment Plant, when he falls into a vat and drowns. The workers have to break the news to Mrs. Bradford, and she is broken up over the news. "My poor Brick, my poor Brick, he couldn't swim, he didn't stand a chance, he didn't stand a chance.
One worker sadly tells her, "Well, not exactly, he got out three time to go to the bathroom."

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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KanSmiley

#53

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 108

07/07/09 19:43:31

Barcroft and Ace Drummond are walking along.

Barcroft says to Ace, "What a beautiful night... look at the moon."

Ace stops and look at his friend, Barcroft "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."

They started arguing for a while when they came upon Brick Bradford (Handsomest hero in all of serials) walking, so they stopped him.

"Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

Brick looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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KanSmiley

#54

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 111

07/08/09 14:49:54

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.

To prove his theory, he filled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately until he came to the last man in line, Brick Bradford (Handsomest Hero In All Serials), who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Twice a day," the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when Brick, says no.

"Once a day, then?" Again Brick answers no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." Brick finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year."

The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks Brick, "What the heck are you so happy about?"

Brick answered, "Tonight's the night!"

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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Captain Canuck

#55

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 51

07/08/09 15:50:17

Resident Comic

Pa Stark and Brick Bradford were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while the Pa said to Brick, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off huntin' coons, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

Brick crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he said, "Well, I don't know about nuthin' about makin' us related, but it sure would make us even."

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#56

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 80

07/08/09 17:40:43

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

What does the Starship Enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common?

both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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Captain Canuck

#57

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Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 54

07/09/09 21:25:54

Resident Comic

Did you hear that Brick Bradford is ill again? He has Old Furniture Disease. His chest is falling into his drawers.

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KanSmiley

#58

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 117

07/10/09 13:47:26

Fishing Tale

Captain Canuck, Brick Bradford, Black Tiger and KanSmiley go fishing.

After an hour, the following conversation took place:

Captain Canuck: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Brick Bradford: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.'

Black Tiger: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to fish. When they realized that that KansSmiley has not said a word, they asked him,"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

KanSmiley: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am.
When it went off,
I shut off my alarm,
gave Mrs Smiley a slap on her butt and said:

'Fishing or Sex?'
and she said:…………….. 'Wear sun-block.'

Here I am.

http://www.saturday-matinee-memories.com/

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Pa Stark.movieserialmess...

#59

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 82

07/10/09 17:12:07

Studmuffin Rabbi Stark
&
Stealer of Kids'
Lunch Money

It is KanSmiley's last day delivering the mail, and he comes to one house, and a cute young wife greets him and asks him if he would like to come in for breakfast.
Kan says, "Sure, I haven't eaten yet."
He goes in, and she fixes him a nice meal, and when he is finished, she asks, "How would you like to come upstairs and make love?" Seeing as he has seen so little action in his life, he readily agrees, and they spend a couple of hours in bed. As he dresses to go back to work, she hands him a five dollar bill. Puzzled, he asks what the five spot is for, and she answers, "This morning when I told my husband you are retiring and asked him what I should do for you, he told me "Screw him, give him five dollars." The breakfast was my idea."

Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark

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Captain Canuck

#60

[-]

Cliffhanger Family Member

Posts: 55

07/10/09 17:41:54

Resident Comic

39013 steps out onto the stage at the SerialFest melodrama wearing only a glass jar on his penis.

"Mercy me oh my," exclaims an unknown young woman wearing a puffy dress and old fashioned bonnet. "Whoever, sir are you? And whatever is that you are wearing?"

"I," says 39039 in his best raspy falsetto voice, "am a fireman and this is my fireman costume. I have come to save the day!"

"But, fair sir," replies with woman clenching her tiny fist in front of her tiny mouth but not so closely as to ruin her delivery, "you are wearing only a glass jar on your..." (The young lady turns to the side blushing and unable to finish the thought) "and nothing whatsoever else!"

"Exactly!" sneers 39013. "In an emergency, break the glass, pull the knob and I'll come as fast as I can!"

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